Experiencing domestic abuse
"I was introduced to Aoibhneas, and met with an outreach worker who is now your CEO, and she saved me."
If you are experiencing abuse, you are not alone. Support is available. Contact Us for confidential help, safety planning, and guidance.
Types of Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse involves behaviours that chip away at your confidence, independence, and sense of self-worth. It is used to intimidate, shame, or control.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is any behaviour that causes or attempts to cause bodily harm. It is a tool of control and intimidation.
Digital Abuse
Digital abuse occurs when technology is used to monitor, harass, intimidate, or exert control over you.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse includes any sexual activity or behaviour you did not or could not consent to. Consent must be freely given, informed, and ongoing.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse limits or controls your access to money, resources, or financial independence.
Coercive control
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviours used to dominate, isolate, and intimidate another person, stripping away their independence and sense of safety.
Signs of Abuse
Love‑bombing
Overwhelming you with affection, gifts, compliments, or attention early in the relationship to create dependency and gain control.
Gaslighting
Making you doubt your own memory, feelings, or reality—saying things like “you’re imagining it” or “that never happened” to confuse you and make you question yourself.
Isolation
Trying to cut you off from friends, family, or support systems.
Monitoring & Surveillance
Checking your phone, social media, emails, or location and tracking your activities without your consent.
Controlling Behaviour
Making decisions for you, telling you what to wear, how to spend money, or where you can go.
Coercive control
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviours used to dominate, isolate, and intimidate another person, stripping away their independence and sense of safety.
Jealousy & Possessiveness
Unfounded accusations of cheating, interrogating you about your interactions, or claiming they act out “because they love you.”
Humiliation & Criticism
Putting you down, making jokes at your expense, mocking your abilities, or constantly criticising you to lower your confidence and self-worth.
Explosive Anger or Mood Swings
Sudden shifts from kindness to rage, especially if used to keep you walking on eggshells or afraid to speak up.
Financial Control
Restricting your access to money, taking your earnings, forcing you to justify every expense, or preventing you from working or studying.
Threats & Intimidation
Using threats (emotional, physical, or verbal) to control you. This includes anything that frightens or punishes you.
How to Help Someone Experiencing Abuse
If someone you care about is experiencing abuse, it can be hard to know what to do or say. Your support can make a huge difference. Here are safe, compassionate ways to help.
Say things like “I’m glad you told me” or “I’m here whenever you need.”
Feeling heard helps survivors feel safer.
Leaving can be dangerous and complicated.
Instead say “You don’t deserve this” or “I’ll support you whenever you’re ready.”
A simple “I believe you” reduces shame and isolation.
Don’t analyse or question details because validation matters most.
Help them think about ways to stay safer, such as:
- Identifying safe people
- Planning exits or safe places
- Keeping key documents
- Setting emergency code words
- Reviewing digital safety
We’re here to support safety planning. You can call our helpline on 1800 767 767.
Abusers may monitor phones and messages.
Do: ask what feels safest.
Don’t: mention abuse in messages, send screenshots, or confront the abuser.
They may make decisions you don’t understand, but they need control and autonomy.